Ladies and gentlemen, for the next twenty-one seconds at least, you're watching Fast and Loose. On the show tonight:
- He's Hampshire's number one name for carpet and bedding, Justin Edwards
- She's noticeably taller than Anne Widdecombe, Laura Solon
- He can become gaseous and volatile at room temperature, Greg Davies
- He's hunted by the Inuit for his fur, Humphrey Ker
- He's the best of Davids, he's the worst of Davids, David Armand
- Do not return to him even if he's gone out, he's Marek Larwood
and finally, would you please welcome your host, a man who sounds a lot like me, Hugh Dennis.
Games[]
- Job Interviews
- The most disastrous thing you could say to your prospective employer
- Come Dining
- Justin and Humphrey - A kids' TV program
- David - Thunderbirds
- Greg - A Roman epic
- Marek - Lassie
- Interpretative Dance
- Performers: David, with Humphrey and Laura
- Song: Britney Spears - "...Baby, One More Time"
- 7-Up
- Justin and Humphrey - Adam and Eve
- David - An arty film director
- Greg and Marek - The world's most evil man and his henchman
- Party Time
- The least successful chat up line you can imagine
- Right Way Wrong Way
- To behave on an airplane
- Performers: Greg and Laura, Humphrey and Justin
- Sideways Scene
- Performers: Justin, Marek, and Pippa
- Scene: Two mid-western farmers are milking in the cowshed when farmhand Marek arrives to warn them that a twister is on the way
- Styles: A vampire movie, Dancing on Ice, An action movie explosion scene, Alien