Ladies and gentlemen, for the next ten seconds at least, you're watching Fast and Loose. On the show tonight:
- The rightful king of the Island of Mull, Justin Edwards
- She used to go out with Vince Cable, Pippa Evans
- He was Mr. Taunton 1987, Greg Davies
- He's working so you don't have to, Humphrey Ker
- She's on day release from the priory, Laura Solon
- He can't go within thirty feet of Dannii Minogue, Marek Larwood
and finally, would you please welcome your host, a man who sounds a lot like me, Hugh Dennis.
Games[]
- Speed Dating
- Terrible things to say at a speed dating event
- Weak Links
- Host: Hugh
- Justin - A right-wing bigot
- Humphrey - A character from a British war movie
- Laura - A clueless teenage girl
- Marek - Turning into a werewolf
- Interpretative Dance
- Performers: David, with Pippa and Humphrey
- Song: Carly Simon - "Your So Vain"
- Early TV
- Host: Hugh
- Show: The Gerald Springer Program
- 7-Up
- Justin - Someone with a hormonal imbalance
- Laura - Goldilocks
- Marek and Greg - Bavarian twins
- Sideways Scene
- Performers: Pippa, Marek, and Justin
- Scene: Amorous housewife Pippa is having her shower repaired by hunky plumber Justin, and jealous husband Marek returns
- Styles: Kung Fu, Harry Potter, Musical