The Astronaut Hoedown (US 14-12) is an edition of the "Hoedown" game from the American version of Whose Line. It was performed in Episode 14-12 by Wayne Brady, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles, and Brad Sherwood, with the help of Laura Hall.
Ever since I was a little kid, lookin' at the sky, that was great
I wanted to be an astronaut and fly up and stay up late
But I'm a coward and I know this to my soul
I don't need to be an astronaut, I'm already an expert in black holes
I am an astronaut, high in outer space
Look at me just soaring with a big, big smile on my face
Oh I am so happy, this job is heaven-sent
'Cause I'm up here, not on Earth and dealing with the president
I can't find my space gear, I think it's disappeared
That is what I hoped and that is what I feared
All my stuff is gone, and it really is so heinous
The only place I haven't looked is right up Uranus
That was my rhyme.
Alright. Of course it was.
Brad was gonna say Uranus.
Yes, I was.
This really is difficult, it is such a crime
I'll come up with a good verse, but Ryan stole my [fucking] rhyme
So I'm just gonna stall some time and think of something else
You all just sit there clapping, playing with yourself
Uh, let's try it one more time. Ryan and Brad, take it away.
I'm up with a girl in space, oh man, is she a cutie
I'm so happy she is here, she is such a beauty
I'm so happy, so happy that they sent me
We've had sex once, and I'm ready for re-entry
Aw, come on!! (storms off stage)
Are you kidding me?
You want us to do three more?
I've traveled through the galaxy and orbited our globe
I was abducted by aliens and felt a painful probe
Sometimes it's hard to be an astronaut, but at least I am employed
Though truly sometimes that probe is a pain in the asteroid
A pain in the asteroid!